Farm Fresh Blog

I committed murder Friday night. To be more specific, it was a mercy killing; Other Half committed the murder. I merely put the victim out of his misery. Still, I feel bad.

Friday night we were driving around the ranch in the mule and happened upon a copperhead. I grew up in rural North Carolina in a place crazy thick with rattlesnakes and copperheads. I've seen a lot of rattlesnakes but ironically, I'd never seen a real live copperhead until then. Still, there was no mistaking it.

There he was, minding his own little snake business, crawling across the red dirt road, illuminated by the lights of the mule. Other Half leaped out with a gun. I leaped out to hold Trace who is no fan of guns. Given the choice, Trace would choose to take his chances with a poisonous snake than a 'thunderstick.'

A few shots later and Other Half came back to the mule in search of a shovel. I went over to examine the poor victim.

He had been fatally injured, but was still alive. His little snakey head was up and moving, trying to figure out how to remove himself from the situation.  I felt sorry for him. It wasn't his fault that he happened to be in an area frequented by my dogs. I'm a 'live and let live' kind of person in most situations. (Other Half is not.)  I felt sorry for the snake. Then I remembered the bird dog I knew who died from a snake bite. So I reached in my back pocket pulled out a .380, and shot him in the back of the head. No more suffering for the snake. (But I still felt bad.)

Over the next four days, I kept the dogs close to camp. They all know how to ride in the mule, so when we explored the wilder part of the ranch, they stayed in the safe confines of their mule. It is their ticket to adventure. It keeps them safe, and just as important, it keeps the snakes safe from them. An unseen snake is a safe snake.

This morning, back at the cowhouse, I was beebopping around the corner of the house and ran smackdab into a large black yellow-belly water snake:

Despite the fact that I ALWAYS looks for snakes IN THAT VERY SPOT, the sight of the snake momentarily scares the crap out of me. I see the snake, utter a profanity while leaping sideways, and run smack into a tree.  The snake giggles but otherwise doesn't move. Even though it is big, I recognize that it's non-poisonous. I am feeding dogs. One does not stop in the middle of feeding 8 dogs. That act alone causes chaos.

Ranger, who has just finished his own breakfast, bounces over to beg for Oli's bowl, which is in my hand. He is standing a foot away from the snake - oblivious.  I point it out.

"Ranger, look out."

He glances at it.  "Yeah, it's a snake. Since you're too scared to walk past the snake, can I have Oli's breakfast?"

At this point, Trace has finished eating and comes racing around the corner to put dibs on Oli's bowl too. He runs right over the poor snake. Having experienced Trace bouncing all over me in bed, I know this is not a pleasant experience. The snake flips upside down, writhing and twisting in his haste to get away from the Border Collie toenails. Like a victim of a drive-by shooting, the confused snake rights himself and escapes under the propane tank.

Trace never even notices him.  Clearly snakes don't even cause a blip on his radar.

I continue down the path to feed Oli. Dillon comes beebopping down path. Gets to spot where snake WAS and slams on brakes. He doesn't even see snake, but is fascinated by the scent. Rut Roh! That is a VERY BAD THING! Scream at him and inform him that scent is "Nasty!"

He looks up. "No it's not."

"Yes it is!  That's NASTY! Leave it alone."

He shrugs. "Whatever."

As much as I hate to do it, Mr. Dillon is going to need a de-snaking clinic with a shock collar. Dillon's interest in snake scent and a ranch populated with pit vipers is a bad combination. We spoke with a man this weekend who told us about the daughter of a friend who was playing hide and seek last weekend. She hid in the pumphouse. A rattlesnake bit her three times before she could get out. Holy shit.

I will only carry "live and let live" so far.