Farm Fresh Blog

Someone forgot to warn Willie that his mouth shouldn't write a check that his ass can't cash.

I'm not a big fan of cattle. I'm more into goats and sheep. Cows are big. Cows are stupid. Anything that big, and that stupid . . . is dangerous.  For instance, let's examine Willie and Paisley.

  Willie

(Pity buy on Other Half's part) 

Last winter I left a cattle auction to give the dog a potty break. A few minutes later, Other Half called to inform me that he had purchased Willie because "he felt sorry for him."  Willie serves absolutely no purpose on this ranch. He has managed to avoid being sold with all the calves and all the cows that were "cut from the team" because of the drought. The fact that Willie has made the cut, not once, but four separate times, is a mystery beyond my scope. That is between Willie and Other Half.  Fortunately Willie is pretty sweet and causes no trouble.

Enter Paisley.  (I don't name these heifers, the Ag kids do. I just call 'em what the kids called 'em.)

Paisley is what you get when two people go to the County Fair Commercial Heifer sale and agree beforehand not to purchase ANY MORE COWS!  When a little Red Angus bred to a notable bull comes across the block, those two people who agreed not to purchase ANY MORE COWS come home with a Paisley.

Paisley is a sweet little cow, but sista ain't takin' no flack from dweebs.

  Willie walked up to Paisley and she informed him that pipsqueaks need to "git!"  Willie, the pip-squeak, took exception to that . . . and thus began Willie's check cashing experience.

She pushed poor Willie all over the yard.

  Back . . .

and  . . .

. . .  forth

Willie had a tiger by the tail and couldn't let her go.

And as you can see,

Willie doesn't have any ass to back up what he says.

But Willie does have something Paisley doesn't have. Willie has horns. We were a little concerned that someone would slip, and Paisley would get gored.

Fortunately for Paisley, (and Willie) Willie doesn't really use those horns for weapons. The scuffle went on so long that even the spectators grew bored and went back to grazing.

Believe it or not, Paisley gave up first.  I'm not sure who was more surprised, us or Willie.

"Some girls just cain't take a joke!"