Farm Fresh Blog

 Working out!

Judging by the response to "The Old Fat Woman" (-in-the-mirror) blog, I'm not the only one struggling with health and aging.  Apparently no matter how much we weigh, and how old we are, we're never happy.  One of the wisest things anyone ever told me was "save those old pictures - the ones where you think you look bad. One day you'll look back on them and say, "HEY! I didn't look that bad. In fact, I looked pretty darned good!"

But most of us, no matter our weight or age, eventually look in the mirror (or the new Driver License photo!) and say, "I gotta start taking better care of myself!"

In the spirit of accountability, I must give a report on my recent attempts to drag myself into better health.  So . . . here tis:

Day 1

Work out with Dear Friend. Drink lots of water.  Weigh self. Stroke. Record weight. Blog health issues. Determination sets in.

Day 2

Dear Friend goes out of town. Work out alone.  Emphasize weights. Go light on cardio (lazy) Weigh self. Lost 2 pounds.  Woo hoo!  It's water. I know it's water. It doesn't matter. Feel healthier anyway. Progress is progress.

Day 3

Work out alone. Lift weights with Dear Friend over the phone.  (love earpieces!) Weigh self. Lost 2 more pounds.  Woo hoo!  Seriously, it's water weight. Again, doesn't matter. Buy $233 worth of healthy food at grocery store. Note that I could have bought junk food for less than half the cost.  There is something WRONG with that!  Real food costs more than chemical-laden, imported, food-like substances.  Grrrr . . .

Day 4

Eat healthy breakfast. Weigh self. Gained 2 pounds.  Stupid Freakin' Scale! Tell self it's water weight and nothing  matters but how I feel and how pants fit. Kick scale. Go work out. Other Half insists on eating at Italian restaurant for dinner. There is absolutely NOTHING healthy on menu.  Grrrrr . . .  We split a meal and told ourselves we were being healthy.  Yes, Denial is more than just a river in Egypt!

Day 5

Skip workout at home. At office, run up and down stairs multiple times. Major work-out. Decide that if I die in the stairwell, it would be a Bad Thing.  Warn cellmate in cubicle behind me when I am running stairwell and what floors to search for my body on.

Day 6

Busy morning. No work-out. Dear Friend calls to give her progress report. She is having problems working out while out of town. No problem.  We will get back on the wagon tomorrow morning. No, wait. She has the Farmer's Market. Okay, Sunday. Sunday we will start again.  Yeah, Sunday! Other Half wants breakfast.  Give him multiple healthy choices. He wants Frosted Flakes instead.  (sigh) Hand him cereal box and large jar of milk.  He notes that milk is not in plastic jug and inquires as to why. (trained investigator) Come clean and admit that milk is raw milk from local cow (named "Sugar") - milk on April 26 in the afternoon. Other Half refuses to drink milk and eats his sugar cereal dry.  Inform Other Half that he acts like a 14 year old girl and that from now on his name is "Buffy."  He stares at me while he nibbles on dry cereal - unimpressed by my threat.  Flat-ass refuse to make him eggs and bacon.  Buffy nibbles on dry cereal and pistachios instead - refusing to drink cold, clean milk that comes from a healthy cow down the road. Buffy weighs himself. Buffy informs me that scale is wrong.  Whatever . . .

Go to office.  Cellmate in cubicle behind me has been inspired to run stairwell too. He runs stairwell and later informs me that according to the Surgeon General, he is healthy enough for sex. At least two flights.  (Thank you for sharing that, Dave) I congratulate him. He has run four flights.  Go Dave! Men obviously don't need as much motivation to run stairs as women do . . .