Farm Fresh Blog

After the loss of Barn Cat this week, I was reminded to be thankful for all "the little people" around the barn. Several years ago I found myself with an abandoned litter of calico kittens. This evening I returned home to find the toilet paper shredded again.God Bless 'em! It reminded me of this essay which was written when they were kittens. It's been three years now, and someone is STILL "squeezing the Charmin!"

Okay... this could fit under the category of Too Much Information, but I imagine that anyone who has kittens in the house has experienced Kittens and The Bathroom!

My kittens are half-grown now and fully believe that my bathroom is Disney World. They are completely fascinated with the Porcelain Jungle and my toilet is the next best thing to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride! Since they were little, I always made sure to put the lid down, for fear that one of my tiny tots would drown. This has only served to heighten their curiosity. Absolutely nothing pleases them more than to watch that sucker flush! They stand on the seat and peer down into the bowl, with O's on their faces, like little kids watching fireworks for the first time. (except instead of looking up in wonder, they're looking down, and their heads spin a little...) And the toilet paper! Oh dear! The toilet paper! They have discovered the toilet paper and now I have to keep a basket under the rack just to collect the unrolled paper as they merrily spin it off the roll.

A bathroom break for me has become an adventure in The Magic Kingdom too. For instance, it's MAGIC how quickly a kitten can appear when she hears you lift the lid. And when a kitten materializes on the seat just as you are lowering your arse down.... it's MAGIC! (This appears to be their version of an Extreme Sport.) But today surely beat all...... (The squeamish should hit delete now!) When you are sliding toilet paper down to your privates and a little hairy arm snakes out from the other side of your drawers to snatch the paper away from you ..............THAT'S MAGIC! The Toilet Paper Bandit struck! At first it scared the crap out of me. Then I flew into a royal rage. After all, it was My Throne! Like a Calico Robin Hood, she ran across the tile with her stolen loot while I yelled at her. (Couldn't follow..... cat took my toilet paper!)

So I sat there and fumed while Robin Hood and her siblings shredded the stolen bounty. Then I reached for a fresh roll from a brand, spanking new package of Charmin, and it looked like a victim of a farming accident! Apparently Mister Whipole and the Charmin Bears are not the only ones who love that "squeezably soft" tissue!